Friday, February 15, 2013
My last time crying was when I drove my car onto the driveway of my hair stylist's home. I could feel the tears swelling in my throat. I held back the tears—I thought—until I knocked on her door. The tears came so fast, I could hardly speak. So, when she opened the door, I put up my index finger, letting her know to give me a few minutes. Of course, she asked me if I was all right. I nodded, and she closed the door. Trying to stop crying was very hard to do, so I gave myself five seconds to let it all go, to just let the tears fall. Afterwards, I was able to control the tears better. I knocked on her door again, and this time, I smiled and laughed as a few more tears found their way down my cheeks. I sat in her chair, and we began to talk like we always do. Our conversations are both healing and revealing to us both. During that visit, we talked and had a laughing moment where there was no space or time; it was just laughter. An hour later, I felt healed; I felt happy; I felt rejuvenated. It wasn't from the cry, but it was from the laughter!
It's one of those things that sometimes mentally drain me; I'm finding out that there are many jobs that I think I can do just to make ends meet, but my lessons are teaching me that if my stepping stone doesn't go with my ultimate journey—the journey that involves the plan that I feel and see in my dreams or visions—it will feel like a daunting task, a dark task. A lesson always comes out of missing one of these stepping stones: I should stay true to my vision, my heart, and my soul.
How do I stay true to my vision? I practice seeing my vision every minute of each day, and I allow myself to feel the enthusiasm that comes with seeing my vision, regardless of how "bad" things may appear. Staying in this awareness helps me to feel if my next move is one of a lighted stepping stone or one of a move that is driven by limited thinking caused by fear. Before I accept a job, I know if the path is a lighted stepping stone or not, because I can immediately feel it. My knowing comes from the desire to practice living in the ONENESS with Divine Presence.
So, from this point forward, I listen to Spirit’s Guidance and move in the direction of light, which I am carrying to brighten the path on my journey. You see, when my light dims, it is a sign that I have gone off path. When my light dims, I am no longer in tuned to the always present Guidance, but in tuned to fear. I AM guidance. I AM one with the light of Divine Presence, which is always lighting the stepping stone, my path and my journey. As the great teacher, Dr. Michael Bernard Beckwith, often says, “I am the power I am looking for.” I take only the lighted stepping stones, which are brightened by me, the I AM.