I created a link to “Ask Vchelle” in hopes to maybe point some and encourage others on how to accept and process things that we perceive to be challenging or difficult to accept.
My humble aim is to respond to this question, “It’s so increasingly difficult to cope when a spouse is laid off or can’t find work. Any advice for uplifting one’s spirit?”
I have had this challenge first hand and let me tell you, it does take an effort, AT FIRST. I went from blaming to pleading to ignoring and finally, to peace. Do you know that we all judge ourselves sometimes harder than we judge others? That’s right. The reflection of our inner judging may externally appear as down, mean, jealous, weak and yes, sometimes it appears as “happy.” Because of this self-induced judgment, we often adhere to the role that we conjure up within our minds. “I’m nothing, therefore, I’m nothing.”
We do not need to confirm this type of structural belief (thoughts). That’s what our egos and our spouse’s egos want to engage it. Why? We often want to feed our emotional needs. Our thoughts feed our emotions and our emotions feed our thoughts. It becomes a vicious cycle.
So, when our perception of our spouse or partner appears to be opposite of peace and enthusiasm, we simply must allow them space to just BE. In this conscious state, we do not become part of the challenge. A better way to say this is we do not react because we will be the space and the peace in which we allow our spouses to succumb to the peace. Who can say this better than Eckhart Tolle, "Instead of fighting the darkness, you bring in the light. Instead of reacting to the delusion, you see the delusion yet at the same time look through it."
I practice radical forgiveness daily toward myself, toward my husband and my daughter. It is my lifeline to peace. We could only be the catalyst and we must allow our family and friends the space to see, feel and listen to our external peace that comes from within.
Happy Love Thursday!